I heard a parishioner quote one of her friends on Sunday saying "Sometimes God lets you reach rock-bottom so you will realize that God is the Rock at the bottom". I can't get that out of my head.
What has been consuming me for the past month or so is "What's next for me?". My last day at one of my current jobs is quickly approaching, and I fear not knowing -for sure- what will happen next. In no way do I feel like this is rock bottom. Heck, I'm not hurting for money, I'm in a great relationship, I'm making wonderful music, the ministry I'm doing is teeming with life, and I'm quite content with my little apartment.
In many ways, I'm in a limbo of sorts. I'm not a legit pastor, but I'm good at youth ministry. I'm not a legit teacher, but I'm good at teaching elementary music. I am doing great things with making coffee-house music, but my real knowledge is in opera and the classical voice.
Living in limbo makes me wonder what rock-bottom is like. And what's the opposite of rock-bottom? Why don't we have a saying for that? The American dream? Living the life? Cloud nine? "Cloud nine" seems so temporary. When you reach rock-bottom, do you know it? And if God is the Rock at the bottom, I'm not gonna lie, that sounds appealing; to be that close to Him. To only have God holding you up and nothing else. I know I'm not alone in knowing that a few other things in this world hold me up at times. Like money, other people, my jobs...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna go looking for rock-bottom, and to be clear, I'm a very happy and content person. I've just been so busy looking for the answer to "What's next?" that I feel farther away from the things in my life that are so faithfully constant.
It is officially out there in cyber space that I will combat this. I will actively slow down to evaluate me just a little bit more. I encourage your comments.
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